Today, I remember everything from the moment I wake up … to the moment I fall asleep. I am a daughter today, a sister and aunt I am so many other things today rather than a soulless shell of existence. I do chores around the house, I can go to family functions, where before I was asked to NOT come because my medications made me an embarrassment to my family and an embarrassment to myself.
In fact, in a recent appointment with my pain management clinic they were ECSTATIC that I was doing so well.
They said “keep doing what you are doing” But I didn’t tell them my secret. I only have ONE Fear If doctors and states ban Mitrasine, I will be back on all the medication, back to the weekly ER visits, multiple doctor visits a week, back to “my life as Death himself”.
The thought of not having Mitrasine leads me down that dark path of “I’ll die, I’ll just end it all”, and just for today, I do NOT want to die.